Trauma
Trauma changes people! Trauma changed me!
As Black women in this society, we constantly have to fight for everything; our peace of mind, our livelihood, our sexuality, our families, injustice, education, our bodies, our hair, our self-expressions, and I could go on, but will stop here. Fully traumatized, we are living our lives in fight or flight mode.
We carry a lot on our shoulders and inherited generational trauma like whites inherited generational wealth. And, yet the world has unrealistic expectations of us. The world expects us to be timid, calm, stay in our place, accept what’s been given. We should be angry for hundreds of years of systematic oppression, sexual assaults, inequalities in our educational, health, housing and justice systems, dealing with overt/covert racism, penalized for wearing our natural God given hair, and shamed for our skin color; but we refuse to give into that narrative. We are not robots! We are thinking, feeling human beings. On occasions we may lose our cool, and rightfully so; our emotions aren’t misplaced. Being black in America is traumatizing and exhausting.
Operating under this complex trauma is exhausting. We never have time to pause, smell the roses, enjoy every moment of our children’s life because we’re always thinking: How am I going to pay this bill? How am I going to pay rent? Do I have enough money for groceries and the electric bill? Are my kids safe? Will my kids be targeted or profiled when they are on the street? How much more of this community violence do we have to endure? How many more funerals do I need to attend of a young loved one? Will they do anything about the guns flooding our streets?
When convenient, people acknowledge the effects of trauma, but never really the deeper roots. I am grateful for the advancement of trauma studies; and in a perfect world, we could pause completely and work on generational, vicarious and individual trauma. However, this world doesn’t allow us to just stop or check ourselves into an inpatient facility for exhaustion like the rich and famous. On the contrary, we have to show up regardless of how we’re feeling. I operated this way for a long time, not realizing most of my decisions were coming from a traumatic space. But acknowledgement of trauma is the beginning of healing, and I am determined to heal myself, my family and my community. We have survived all kinds of trauma for the past 400 years, and we will continue to do so. Trauma will not prevail. We will survive!
About Grateful Kriola
Grateful Kriola was born to Cape Verdean parents in Lisbon, Portugal. She immigrated to the United States as a child and was raised in Roxbury, where she began a love of community work, and supports DCF Families, DYS youth and community members in need. A trained family facilitator, who understands that issues are multifaceted; she applies a culturally competent, trauma-informed, and empowerment lens in her work with marginalized populations dealing with neglect, homelessness, substance abuse, mental health, domestic violence, community violence and social injustice. She is the founder of Grateful Kriola Healing Project that provides mental health and wellness support for the Cape Verdean Community.